The Art of Marriage

Towards the end of last year, I wrote a poem for my very dear friend Kate (there she is getting married to her lovely man Steve), who's impending nuptials had prompted her bridesmaid to request some pearls of wisdom from the ladies.

I felt I had many pearls to give, as I was approaching my ten year wedding anniversary (married to the same man - can you believe it?) but as Kate is an English and Drama teacher, my contribution had to be elegant, succinct and worthy.

For days I slaved, perfecting and polishing, until at last a lustrous, wonderful, reasonably auto-biographical pearl emerged. I've been meaning to post my efforts for a while and since it is wedding season again (we've just been to two in the last month) I thought it an appropriate time.

Here goes:

The Art of Marriage

                                                                                    by Tali Ingram

(Note: There is another poem floating about with the same name as mine but that one is total rubbish and mine isn’t.)

A young girl dreams of wedded bliss,

Of harp and strings and that first kiss,

Of flowers, cake,

A dress to take

Her breath away, and her heart miss

A beat just thinking of that kiss.

The young girl dreams of handsome groom,

Of petals scattered ‘round the room,

Of music, rings

And pretty things

Most orchestrated, Love’s full bloom!

And oh! That handsome, handsome groom!

And so the nuptial day draws nigh,

A day of wedded knots to tie,

And in her heart,

A brand new start,

But in a blur it passes by,

The day that makes her father cry.

But marriage is beyond a day,

And fairly soon he’s found a way,

To make it seem,

He is a dream,

And won’t leave dishes where they lay,

Will always put his clothes away,

And won’t waste all the afternoon

Watching re-runs of “Platoon”

Upon the couch,

And though she’ll grouch

And go as crazy as a loon,

He won’t just say “Alright!” and “Soon!”

No undies on the bathroom floor,

Or window rattling, night-time snore,

Unusual smells.

A noise that tells

Of dangerous use of nail and saw.

Oh no! Our girl shall fret no more!

For in her heart of hearts she knows,

It’s nothing like those TV shows,

All roses, wine,

Romance divine.

So with each candle that she blows,

And with each stitch of love she sews,

The girlish veil lifts from her eyes,

Replaced by knowledge, compromise,

Acceptance of

Her groom, her love

And here the golden secret lies,

For Marriage Art is for the wise.

Babies and Thoughts

So we went on another date night. This was my Mothers Day present - 1 month and 16 days late. Hmmm. Anyway, we went to see this film:

I've been waiting a long time to see "Babies"...about a year and a half in fact. I saw the trailer just after Niko was born and was immediately hooked. And it exceeded my expectations. Apart from being exquisitely shot and edited, and making me laugh, cry, remember, fall in love etc...it made me THINK. And this is exactly what great documentaries are supposed to do.

Lately, I've been  thinking a lot about education. About why and where and how we educate our children. Obviously as a teacher, this is something very important to me. But it was only when I became a mother, that this actually became personal. My son is going to have to attend school in just 3.5 short years (argh!) and the prospect of him having to sit at a desk and only play outside when the bell rings and finish worksheets before he gets to play with Lego scares the living daylights out of me. This whole topic is massive and needs many more posts and a lot more attention than I am going to give to it today.

So it was with these thoughts floating around in my head, that I saw this film.

Four babies, growing up in different parts of the globe, discovering their world and the people in it.

There are obvious conclusions to draw. All the children move through the same stages of development at roughly the same time. All the parents kiss, cuddle, sing and laugh with their children. The human experience of being a child and a parent was beautiful to watch.

But for me, the film perfectly illustrated what REAL education is.

For Ponijao, growing up in the Himba tribe in Namibia, reading and writing has no use at all. But knowing how to grind seeds between two stones is an incredibly useful skill.

For Bayer, born in Mongolia, feeling at ease around cows, goats and roosters is the first step towards becoming a successful nomadic farmer.

For Mari, from Tokyo, learning how to navigate a busy, bustling world, full of sensory overload and finding her place in it.

And for Hattie, from San Francisco, reading books and enjoying musical experiences will prepare her for a life where literacy and comprehension are so important.

All the children were being educated, from birth, in a manner that would see them succeed in their world.

And this is the crux of education. We educate children so they are able to cope with life as adults, live meaningful lives and contribute to society. These things are true no matter which country or culture we belong to. This is the "why" of education.

More to follow on the "how" and "where" and "when" of education...

But "Babies" is really great and I definitely recommend it!

SMACK!

I'm a bad blogger. I need a big, fat, bloggy smack on my bloggy, bloggy hand.
SMACK!
Too much has happened. It's been a roller-coaster year filled with the crappiest of crap news and the happiest of hap news.

Good thing we've got Niko to keep us smiling. Here he is enjoying Hardwicke Bay over Easter.